All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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