Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
