____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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