so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
how do flat chested girls get laid?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
