when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
foreskin is a definite game changer
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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