Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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