And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
