I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
