Well douche your snatch and let's go!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
