Swine flu. Run for my life!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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