Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
As shirtless as possible
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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