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I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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