This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
