I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
