so explain again why im purple
no
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
