my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
