She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
