i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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