hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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