if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
