I hate all girls vehemently.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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