how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
