I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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