I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
