is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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