is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
