I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
