she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
