official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
