Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
