and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want to make a zoo with you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
