I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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