Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
As shirtless as possible
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
