I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
