i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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