that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
