used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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