Whod you bang
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
