I am puke
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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