yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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