Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
