She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
