If i come over, it means nothing
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
