Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
