I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
