So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
