school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
