Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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