I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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