I'm pants shitting drunk right now
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
