I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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