he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
