some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
