Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
