I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
