you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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